


Try Sleeping With A Broken Heart

by xMeg



Category: New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Boarding School, Illness, M/M, Mental Breakdown, Nightmares, No Spoilers, Out of Character, PTSD, Psychosis, Self-Harm, Sickfic, Vomit, Vomit Mention, Whump
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-05
Updated: 2019-05-05
Packaged: 2020-02-26 01:01:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,851
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18713290
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xMeg/pseuds/xMeg
Summary: The halls of the Ultimate Academy for Gifted Juveniles are plagued night after night by horrific cries and screams from a fellow student they all know too well, Kokichi Oma,  Shuichi Saihara cares deeply and wants to find out what his close companion is going through; he decides to investigate one night and what he stumbles on is worse than he or anyone could imagine.





	Try Sleeping With A Broken Heart

**Author's Note:**

> //I love Oma but i do enjoy writing whump for him, this is my first attempt at any serious whump so I hope its good. I suffer with Psychosis myself so this story was (kinda) personal. there may be some mistakes, i wrote this on the train

Screams were almost always heard echoing the halls of the Ultimate Academy For Gifted Juveniles at night. It wasn’t a rare occurrence at all, the screams would start and last intermittently throughout the night. The students had learned to just accept it and sleep through; they learnt never to question it. 

The source of the screams were also known to the students as it came from a fellow student; one they knew as the ultimate supreme leader; Kokichi Oma. The nightmares he was plagued with sounded so horrific yet every morning he would walk into the dining hall and greet everyone with a cheeky smile even if the others could tell that his voice was a little strained from screaming. 

To some it may seem cruel that no one asked if he was okay but even if they did they’d be met with a lie. Kokichi was good at lying, he could tell them he was fine but secretly hurting inside. It wasn’t much of a secret though; Shuichi Saihara knew all too well that Oma was hurting as he was the ultimate detective after all, yet he never questioned it because he just wouldn’t get anywhere. 

The morning sun beamed through the dining hall; a large table sitting in the middle for the friends to share. One by one everyone filled in and sat down; Shuichi poured himself a cup of orange juice and sat down at the table; greeting everyone as they walked in and sat around him. 

“Good morning Shuichi” a friendly voice said from beside him, Kaede Akamatsu sat next to him , he smiled softly, “did you sleep well last night” Shuichi shook his head.

“Actually no... Oma’s screaming is really getting to me lately, I know it’s old news and I should be used to it by now but it hasn’t been this bad before” Kaede agreed, it was true; the screams were common but recently they’d become more and more horrific sounding. 

A very tired and pale looking Kokichi Walked through the doors; he greeted everyone in his usual cheeky manner before sitting next to Kaede and Shuichi. Kaede and Shuichi looked at each other and shared a look of concern for Kokichi, they then looked back at him. Kokichi raised an eyebrow at the pair. 

“What are you guys looking at? Do I have something on my face?” Kokichi asked, he knew why they were looking, he had dark circles underneath his eyes hanging there like lost luggage and he looked sickly pale. 

“U-Uh no it’s just.. are you okay?” Kaede asked with comfort, Kokichi smiled at her, his smile was not in the slightest bit genuine. 

“I’m okay; are you Kaede?” He said; his tone was almost aggressive in nature which made her look down sadly as if she said something wrong, Shuichi saw her go into herself a little bit. He looked up at Kokichi who really did look ill. 

“Hey she’s just worried.. I am too..” Kokichi tilted his head slightly and raised an eyebrow. 

“Worried? About me? Why? there’s nothing to be worried about” he retorted, Shuichi then leaned in to talk quietly to him, Kokichi moved back as if he felt slightly threatened. 

“Oma.. your nightmares?... they’ve gotten worse lately, did something happen..? you can talk to me about it if you don’t want to let Keade know too” Kokichi rolled his eyes and looked away, Shuichi gasped and sat back in his seat. Feeling slightly defeated but not ready to give up on him just yet. 

“I don’t have nightmares and I don’t know what you’re talking about! I sleep fine!” the young boy was getting more and more defensive, but Shuichi still wasn’t ready to give up. He cared about Kokichi more than anything and he wanted to help him no matter what it took. Kaede started getting concerned, she could sense tension.

“Shuichi..” she said softly trying to get him to let up on pressuring Kokichi to talk, he didn’t let up and he kept digging, he sighed and frowned at the smaller boy. 

“Why do you always lie when you know full well that people can see straight through your tough guy act!” he yelled, raising his voice, Kokichi frowned back, “It’s okay to ask for help Oma!” Kokichi slammed his hands on the desk causing everyone to stop what they were doing and look at him, he scowled at Shuichi causing a gasp to come from the detective. 

“Shut up! I don’t have to explain anything to you. I don’t need help with anything! You should watch the way you speak when you’re talking to the Ultimate Supreme Leader! Never ever raise your voice at me if you know what’s good for you!” he turned to see everyone staring at him, he scowled again. “what?!” Kokichi stormed off slamming the door open and walking out of the dining hall leaving everyone to gossip about what just happened. Shuichi had tears in his eyes. That was not how he wanted that to go. His heart was pounding; Kokichi’s life was surrounded in mystery so Shuichi didn’t really know what he could be capable of, he thought that Kokichi was going to lash out physically and the fear did not feel good at all. Kaede saw him tearing up and she rested her head on his shoulder.

“It’s okay… I know you care” she said comfortingly “maybe leave him be for a while.. he’s clearly got issues he’s dealing with” a tear rolled out of his eye and he rubbed it away. He sniffed and drank his orange juice. Gonta came over to the pair, he had a butterfly plushie with him, Shuichi smiled softly when he came over. 

“Gonta saw Kokichi yell at Shuichi so Gonta bought chouchou over to make Shuichi happy” he handed the plush to Shuichi who giggled and smiled with teary eyes. Gonta always knew how to make people happy, he was trying so hard at being the ultimate gentleman so he was always a darling to everyone. 

“T-Thanks Gonta, Chouchou is adorable, keep her safe now!” he said handing her back, Gonta nodded and skipped off to sit back down. Shuichi sighed again, all he could think about was Kokichi and how much he cared about him. He just wanted to keep him safe. 

The rest of the day was slow, the class went about their day learning their chosen trade and showcasing what they learned to everyone else, celebrating each other’s talents. Kokichi still looked incredibly unwell, like he had so much on his mind that his head could explode, Shuichi locked eyes with him for a second and tried smiling at him but he was met with a dirty look. It hurt so much to think he had pried to the point of friendship loss. He sat writing his thesis on a case from a while back when Kaede came up and put a hand on his back, he looked up at her, smiled weakly and then went back to writing.

“Shuichi, he’ll come around again soon and realise you care.. don’t beat yourself up” Kaede’s words were encouraging but sometimes she could be a bit too optimistic, Kokichi may have never come round again, that was a possibility, Shuichi had spent most of the day overthinking, what if the friendship was finished, what if he’d never get to enjoy Kokichi’s presence in a positive light ever again. It hurt him to think that his caring had turned into hostility; he just wanted Kokichi to be happy. 

The day went by and before they knew it, another day of learning had come to an end. It was time for them to all retreat to their dorms for the night, Shuichi lay on the bed, thinking about Kokichi, wondering if Oma would get some sleep tonight and if he himself would sleep. His cell phone vibrated on his chest and he picked it up to see a text from Kaede, he smiled softly.

“Hey Shuichi, have this collection of cat memes, I know you’re feeling crap about what happened with Oma earlier so I thought I’d spam you with cat pics” She’d sent him 15 photos of cats with funny faces, usually Shuichi would laugh and send some back but he didn’t feel like it. He wasn’t happy. He felt terrible about pushing Kokichi to boiling point and he felt terrible about being scared as Kokichi was someone who he had to admit he wanted to be more than friends with. He sighed and texted Kaede back.

“Hey Kaede. Thank you for the memes. I feel terrible about Kokichi, I shouldn’t have pushed him like that. I shouldn’t have forced him to tell me I’m a terrible friend” he felt himself tearing up, he genuinely felt horrible about the whole thing, his phone buzzed again. 

“Please don’t hate yourself for this, he’s a fool if he can’t see that you deeply care, If you get some sleep you can try and talk to him tomorrow morning when you’ve both had some sleep.. well.. hopefully” Shuichi took a deep breath, Kaede was right, how could they have a proper conversation if they were sleep deprived. He texted her to say goodnight and pulled the covers over him, he hugged his stuffed bear. Hoping one day he’d get to hold Kokichi in the same way. 

Around 2:00 am, the screams started, Shuichi shot awake, the screams sounded different this time, he couldn’t put his finger on it but something wasn’t right, more so than usual. He got out his phone and texted Kaede hoping she was still awake, she usually would be working on her piano sonatas. “Kaede I think something is wrong with Oma.. something doesn’t feel right” sure enough he got a text back after a few painful minutes of sitting and listening to the wails. 

“What do you mean? It’s just like other nights...” she texted, Shuichi disagreed, something was wrong, he knew it and he couldn’t stand by and let him suffer, not tonight, Kokichi could barricade his door and Shuichi would still find a way through because he cared.

“I have to check on him, as a detective I need to follow my gut instinct and my gut is telling me that something is wrong” he sent the text and put his phone in his pocket, he got up and opened the door, walking down the corridor to Kokichi’s room. He could hear him sobbing uncontrollably form the inside, this broke his heart. He hesitated for a few minutes before knocking.

“Kokichi?.. It’s me Shuichi.. Please let me in?” he called, there was no answer he only heard the painful crying coming from the purple haired boy inside, he kept knocking and calling Kokichi’s name but there was nothing; only crying. Shuichi tried the door handle and noticed that the door wasn’t locked, in fact he had opened it slightly. He gasped softly. “Kokichi I’m coming in…” he walked inside. His eyes widened at the sight he saw. 

Kokichi was sitting cross legged on the bed, covered in a pool of his own vomit, crying uncontrollably and seemingly unable to catch his breath, the young boy sat staring at the wall, fixated, his cheeks red along with his eyes. Shuichi closed the door behind him and went into the bathroom to grab a towel. He tried to wash the vomit off of Kokichi’s legs but Kokichi yelped and backed up into the corner of the bed, like he was too afraid to be touched. He stared wide eyed at Shuichi

“W-What’s wrong? I-It’s okay I’m not gonna hurt you, I just want to clean you up, you can’t sit in your own sick.. you’ll get a rash..” Shuichi said calmly, trying not to tear up. He didn’t know what else to do but to try and reason with the vulnerable boy however this was proving difficult. 

“M-Make it stop! P-Please make it stop!” sobbed Kokichi, these were real, raw and painful emotions, these came from a place that no one could ever understand but Shuichi wanted to try and understand. He climbed on the bed and cleaned some of the vomit off of the sheets. Kokichi moved slightly farther up the bed. Shuichi sat directly in front of him.

“Make what stop?” he said calmly, Kokichi sobbed harder and tapped his head.

“T-The visions.. the Voices.. the nightmares.. please make it stop..” Shuichi gulped, he had locked direct eye contact with a very desperate Kokichi, He sighed compassionately. 

“What are the voices saying Ko?” he asked softly, his voice riddled with kindness and comfort , Kokichi sniffed and cried more. 

“They say such awful things.. I-I can’t… I-I won’t” his face turned a ghostly white, he was pale already but he was like a white sheet at this point. He put his shaky palm against his mouth and got up from the bed, he tried to make it to the bathroom but failed, he started throwing up on the carpet. Shuichi gasped,

“Ah crap!” Shuichi yelled. he got up and ran straight to Kokichi’s side, he put a hand on Kokichi’s back but he flinched. 

“D-Don’t t-t-touch me; get away from me” he cried as he bought up another wave of sick, he sounded as though he was in so much pain, mentally and physically, Shuichi sighed, trying not to cry himself, seeing Kokichi in this state was devastating. 

“Please Oma.. I promise you I won’t hurt you, I’m here for you.. I just want to make it all better.. I-I love you..” Shuichi choked up, a lump appearing in his throat, he started to cry himself, he put a hand back on Kokichi’s back, this time being able to keep it there, he rubbed in soothing circles and handed Kokichi a tissue to wipe his face. Kokichi’s knees went weak as he felt dizzy, Shuichi grabbed him and held him close, he knew that he was exhausted, tears were still falling from his eyes. He put a few tissues down on the floor to cover the mess and took Kokichi into the bathroom, he put the toilet lid down and sat the fragile one down. Kokichi shaking and still crying. Shuichi ran him a bath and kneeled to his level. 

“I’ll run you a bath and then I’ll go wait outside while you sit in it okay?” he got up but Kokichi pulled his arm, causing him to kneel back down. The smaller boy looking fragile and burnt out. Still incredibly pale. 

“N-No.. D-Don’t leave me.. P-Please Shuichi..” Shuichi smiled with compassion, his smile soft, trusting and genuine. 

“Alright.. I’ll stay..” he turned off the taps and helped Kokichi get undressed, that’s when he saw them, the cuts.. some of the deepest he’d ever seen, he had to blink a couple times to make sure what he was seeing was actually there. He looked at Kokichi who looked ashamed. He held his hand. 

“Did the voices make you do this..?” The purple haired boy just nodded, tears streaming from his eyes yet again. 

“I-I’m sorry..” he cried “I’m pathetic, I’m worthless, I shouldn’t be alive” Shuichi became angry, not at Kokichi but at the words he said, he helped him into the bath, easing him in as it was bound to sting, Kokichi writhed before getting as comfortable as he could. Shuichi rolled up his sleeves and helped to wash Kokichi. He wanted to be there for him through whatever he may be going through. He loved him. All of him. Kokichi looked up at him, he looked into Kokichi’s eyes. 

“The voices might tell you these things, but they’re wrong, I’m guessing the reason you cry every night is because you do this to yourself… I didn’t know things were so bad mentally for you.. I would have been the first person to help you get some help.. because I care and harming yourself just isn’t the answer” Kokichi didn’t answer. He just looked down at the ‘mess’ he’d made on his body. 

Once the bath was done, Shuichi helped Kokichi out and gave him some fresh pyjamas, throwing the other ones in the wash basket, he cleaned the carpet and put fresh sheets on the bed, before helping the exhausted pale boy to lay down. Kokichi looked into Shuichi’s eyes. 

“Will you.. I mean I understand if not.. I’ve put you through hell tonight.. but would you stay with me? I don’t want to sleep alone.. I’m scared” Shuichi smiled weakly, he walked over to the other side of the bed and got in to lay beside him. 

“Of course I’ll stay… you really think I’m leaving you alone after this?” Kokichi blushed and snuggled closer to Shuichi. “You’re not alone anymore Ko. I’m here and I’m not going anywhere” he held Oma close. Listening to his breathing as he fell asleep. 

“I truthfully love you..” a sleepy Kokichi mumbled, Shuichi smiled and kissed his warm forehead, the pair fell asleep, soundly, for the first time in a long time, Kokichi felt safe.


End file.
